No offense meant to anyone.The title is with reference to one of those abundant catchy phrases we notice as road-travellers. They click with us simply because they resonate with our feelings.
Well, it all starts with short, cheesy (to an outsider) love notes and gets carried forward with lavish expressions in the form of all the tangible and intangible goodies. But after the high-spirited introduction, things get settled, to the point of becoming stagnant. No sooner have the roses wilted that the foundation itself gets shifted. What initially ignited the spark simply loses touch with the match (pun intended). A ‘special’ person transforms into an ‘obligation’, or to put it in more cynical terms, an ‘additional burden’. And interestingly enough, it’s nobody’s fault, or is it? What is it that makes marriages, in general, survive, but not ‘relationships’. Probably that is the reason legislations do not accord such ‘relationships’ a legal status. On the other hand, marriages are considered sacramental. Maybe that’s the reason we look from a double-sided prism when making choices. For our ‘partner’ and our ‘life-partner’ are two different persons. Isn’t it? Maybe that’s the reason we do not believe in taking things (and people) seriously. Maybe that’s the reason the word ‘forever’ has lost its sheen and must loathe its existence because of all the mockery it is subjected to. And maybe that’s why we tell the other person that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I wonder what makes love lose life.
I often notice the contrasting evergreen-ness of the past generations and the transient colourful-ness of the present and future generations. I try to fathom whether it’s prudent to live life taking everything in your stride or whether to take shelter in a cupola of dreams meant to come true at an age determined by everyone but ourselves. I wonder whether it’s right to even blame anyone for the outcome of our own decisions, or to simply sit pretty holding on to faith and to the fact that karma has no deadline. Putting someone on a pedestal means that they’ll inevitably fall off, just as those rose-coloured glasses you’d been wearing all this while. Patience is a virtue of the highest order, but how long can one go on dodging the abuses hurled at them, bearing the sharpness of the words screamed at them, and betraying the very essence of a dignified life? We come back to square one and ask ourselves, “is it worth it?” It’s ironical (and yet logical) that we answer this question while re-living the past in our minds, reminiscing about things we would never have otherwise said, things that were hidden behind a smokescreen. And things that eventually make us shed copious tears, adding to the confusion. I can only imagine the satisfaction experienced by all those counsellors and online soothsayers who give intelligent ‘advices’. So we’re alike enough to understand the pain felt by another. But can anybody play the doctor?
I think the reason some ‘rocky’ marriages survive is because they would die by the time they waited for ‘outsiders’ to take charge of the inside story. Whereas that ‘non-committal’ group on the other side of the spectrum thrives on mutual friend societies, and communication apps, and of course, social networking. The paradox is that we’ve started to believe that ‘ends justify the means’ which means that intermingling across cultures (and genders) is no more a taboo, and has proved beneficial in terms of eradicating prejudices and giving way to a more refined as well as unorthodox social culture. Of course, the lucky ones amongst us would say that everything said and done, all’s well that ends well. But if only there was a way to put a finger on the right option. If only love, love-cum-friendship, relationships and marriage were denoted by a single circle. If only there werent so many lessons to be learnt, and if only there was a guarantee for something as intangible as love. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But then, a certain taxi driver vouches for the fact that “love is like china mobile, no guarantee”. But then his taxi moves on in the pursuit of passengers, and so does life in the unending quest for undying love. That’s all earthlings believe in. For risk begets pleasant surprises at times. And that hope is probably the only thing that makes us have faith in the existence of something called ‘love’, the only religion worth fighting for.