It’s human nature. Avarice is our second name. Maybe that’s where lies the difference between the saint and the sinner. The divine and the earthly. We’re never satisfied with what we have. We always want more. And when we get that ‘more’, we want it continually, and continuously. Our needs, wants, and desires are insatiable. Irrespective of whether they are tangible or intangible. We’re never content with what we have in front of us. The grass always seems greener on the other side. This is applicable to the field of our personal relationships as well. A guy is madly in love with a girl-next-door, and they happily date each other for a while, when that hot neighbourhood girl makes a bold entry into the party, and the guy just cannot stop ogling. It’s the birthday party of the girl-next-door, but turns out the neighbourhood damsel takes the cake! No offence meant to the males out there, for what I mentioned is not gender-specific. It’s a flexible statement.
We all want to fall in love, and be in love, and stay in love. But we realise that we would not be in love if it were not for friendship. So when we put a friend on a pedestal, we forget that we’re actually in love with them. And there are those days when we feel like there’s a void that needs some filling, when we are actually in love with someone. The heart confuses us, and the mind overthinks. Lethal combination. People say that the worst thing that could happen to you is seeing the one you love, love someone else. People also say that the worst thing that could happen to you is not seeing the one you love, love you as much. And all of us know that there is nothing worse than death. Or deathly situations. When the heart starts acting like a fool, it is time for the mind to take over. I wonder why our mind goes into a hibernation mode when it should not. I wonder where all that cynicism vanishes when we need it as an armour to protect us from the arrows that leave us scarred for life. And I wonder why we stop seeing people for who they are, instead of who we would like them to be. We need a lot of shaking up, but seems like objectivity is not our forte. Oscar Wilde said, “man is anything but rational”. Those who, like him, have a keen perception of human nature have also ended up falling in love. And falling hard. Couldn’t they see things for what they were? Oh yeah, sure enough, they had reservoirs of creativity stored in their depths that made us sympathise and empathise with them, and maybe it was God’s way of revealing all that, but there should be something akin to a neon flashing light to give us a warning sign. Something like “Mate, you’re plunging into deep, dark, waters. And all your swimming skills might just fail, you know. So be careful before you dive.”
I sometimes feel that the luckiest person is somebody who loves and cherishes and admires and covets from afar. That heart has indeed been trampled upon many a times, but love has nothing to do with a relationship, whereas a relationship should have a lot to do with love. Or so I believe. That person is happy with the image of somebody who should not be within reach, for they fear that they might end up tarnishing their beloved’s beauty. They believe that their beloved is out-of-this-world, and they view them with rose-coloured glasses, but I still feel that life’s better off dealing with emotions in a way that inspires the self. It’s so much better than attempting to ruin the idea of a ‘perfect partner’, or an ‘ideal partner’ (Nobody’s perfect, and such partners exist only in Neverland Dreamland :P). But avarice feeds off on hope. So us hopeless lovers keep hoping against hope that someday, hopefully, our lost hope shall get restored. Till then, Amen.
And then, when we come back to square one, we realise that a dream slowly transformed into a nightmare, things turned from white to black, and now there’s
no turning back.