I asked my brother, ‘Who exactly is a feminist?’ He asked me a question in order to explain: ‘Do you think there should be a ladies’ coach in the Delhi Metro?’ I said, ‘Yeah’. He told me, ‘Then you’re not a feminist. A feminist would not want a special coach to be dedicated to the ladies. They want equality.’ That’s when I understood.
Us women can compete with men, and even defeat them, in whatever we choose to do. We’re good at every damn thing. We’re awesome, not only because we’re good at what we undertake, but also because we’re genetically wired to multitask. I always side with the women folk, but today I’d like to differ from those women who think that the roles played by them are equal when it comes to relationships. And mind you, my women friends, I didn’t write ‘love’. There’s a difference between being in a relationship and being in love. Most serious relationships are founded on love, and they last because of love. But sometimes, just because they end, does not mean that love also ends. See the difference?
A woman might fight and go to any lengths..she may cross puddles, oceans and mountains, she may even die for her lover, but in vain. Nobody cares two hoots. Because, c’mon, she is a woman. She is the one who should play hard-to-get, she is the one who’s supposed to NOT spill the secrets, she’s the one who is NOT supposed to be brave, she’s not supposed to propose, she’s not supposed to chase. And this is the ugly truth. Which rings true even in the twenty-first century. All those classics by Jane Austen where she talks about old-fashioned romance still ring true. William Shakespeare’s words still inspire and move lovers. A man and a woman can never be equal in a relationship. In love, they SHOULD be. But in a relationship, they just CAN’T be.
It makes us feel special when a man outside of our home cares about us, because that rarely happens. We grow up listening to bad, gory stories about men, and when a ‘good’ man arrives, it seems unbelievable. It feels like a flick of a magic wand and our love story seems like a fairytale. Ooh, it’s a whirwind romance. But, only in OUR minds. We put him on a pedestal, and when the reality comes crashing down, it steals the magic from us. That’s when it gets real, he gets real, and you HAVE TO get real. There’s no magic. This is hardcore ugliness. It’s ugly because he is a man and you are a woman. You have no option but to listen to what he says, AND accept it. When he says ‘yes’, he may or may not mean it. When he says ‘no’, he means it. Unfortunately.
And what about you? Well, it never mattered, it does not matter, and it never will, darling. ‘Cause, you’re a woman.
Let him take the steering wheel. It’s traditionally his, and it will always belong to him. He may throw you out of the car someday. He might do that if he had a premonition about an accident that he does not want you to face. Or he might do that because he wants the drive all to himself. When you can’t figure out the distinction between selfless and selfish, the least and the most you can do is get up on your feet on your own, and let him go..
IF he belongs to you, he’ll come back to you. He felt at ‘home’ with you, right? Everybody feels homesick, once in a while. Eventually, we all get tired of wandering.